


Like a love song on repeat

by lisachan



Series: Leoverse [304]
Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, M/M, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:40:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29437686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisachan/pseuds/lisachan
Summary: Blaine's got a problem. 2 AM and Adam's in his head.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Leoverse [304]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/30541





	Like a love song on repeat

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING:** This story is a **what if** from the original 'verse. In the canon course of events that, from Leonard Karofsky-Hummel VS The World, led to Broken Heart Syndrome, **this has never happened**.
> 
> At some point I will get bored to write this same story in the Adamverse over and over and over again... but not today.

_You stuck on me darlin'  
Like a love song on repeat  
Yeah, you've got a problem, alright  
_ _And I know I'm the one to blame_

_You got a problem, 2AM I'm in your head_

Blaine opens his eyes wide, surrendering to the fact that he isn’t going to sleep tonight.

He never struggled with sleep, all his life. Waking up early in the morning, keeping busy during the day, staying up late at night help him handle sleep cycles quite well. Usually, when he lies down on the bed, he’s so exhausted he falls asleep immediately when his head touches the pillow. And he’s fine with that, because he hates to lie awake in bed. Staring at the ceiling, or even worse, squeezing his eyes shut to force sleep upon himself. While his thoughts spin, spin, spin in his brain. That’s a thing he can’t handle. That’s a thing he doesn’t want.

He always used to sleep easy. And then Adam and him broke up. And he hasn’t been sleeping as well since then.

He drags himself out of his bed, knowing he shouldn’t. He should stay in bed, he should stay put. That’s the only safe way he has to get through the night, because he knows as soon as he’s up he’s going to get dressed and leave. And he’s going to show up at Adam’s place.

It’s not alright to keep doing this, he knows that. They broke up a month ago, and it’s already happened four times. And Adam hasn’t said anything about it, yet, but Blaine can see the words dance behind his eyes every time he lets him in, every time he doesn’t say no.

He’s wondering why this keeps happening. He’s wondering why Blaine keeps reaching out for him. Why does he still want to see him, despite the way they were over. Despite the things they told to one another. Despite admitting there’s no flame anymore between them.

And honestly, Blaine’s glad Adam’s not voicing the questions in his eyes. He doesn’t have answers for him. He only has facts.

Fact. He keeps staying up all night thinking about him.

Fact. He wouldn’t want to go back being his boyfriend, with all the complications a relationship would bring, but he still misses him.

Fact. He doesn’t feel as connected with anyone as he feels with him.

Fact. Whenever they meet, whenever they kiss, whenever they touch, whenever they fuck, he feels on fire, and he can’t deny that to himself.

Fact. He still wants him.

Fact. He still feels for him.

He’s full of facts, but facts aren’t answers. They’re just convenient evidence. You can’t answer a question why with a fact. Why does the sun come up every morning? You can’t answer that by just stating the obvious fact that the sun in shining and it is morning. Questions demands for more than just facts. They demand for reasons, and Blaine doesn’t have those.

He has needs. He doesn’t have much beside that.

Knowing that doesn’t make him feel any better, doesn’t help him absolve himself, but it is what he needs to tell himself to find the strength to gather his clothes, wear them, fetch his keys and jump on his car.

He drives to Adam’s place on autopilot. He doesn’t look at the streets, he just stares in front of himself. In the darkness of New York night, he only sees Adam’s face.

He gets there by 3 AM, more or less. He’s certain, in his heart, that Adam’s awake. There’s no reason why he should, but Blaine’s sure he is. He feels that. And he never believed any of those heightened perceptions bullshit about lovers, but – once again, fact. He knows Adam’s awake. He knows a part of him expects Blaine to show up. He knows another part of him hates himself for that expectation. But facts work for Adam as they work for him: he’s still expecting him.

As soon as he punches in the code to Adam’s flat, which he still knows by heart, the door opens, and he runs up the stairs. One floor, two floors, three, he’s standing on his door. One step, two steps, three, he’s knocking on it. Adam must have been standing right behind it, because the door unlocks and opens right away, and Adam’s already there, looking at him. His eyes look dark in the darkness of the room, and they look heavy, and Blaine swallows.

He opens his mouth and he’s about to speak, but Adam doesn’t let him. He gets close and they’re kissing. And it’s hungry. And it’s angry. And it’s them. And it’s perfect.

They kiss in silence. Adam grabs him by his collar and walks backwards, dragging him towards his bedroom. Blaine doesn’t even pretend that he wants to stop him. He just follows. He lands on the bed. He struggles a little – he doesn’t know if he wants to have him or if he wants to be had, tonight, but in the end he surrenders to Adam’s strength, because the boy seems to have a much clearer idea about what he wants from tonight.

He spreads his legs. He closes his eyes. He lets himself go.

Adam overwhelms him in every way. His lips are everywhere, his hands are everything. He burns with all-consuming wanting, and Blaine lets himself be burned down to a cinder. He’s ashes. Then he’s nothing. He comes and he dissolves, he closes his eyes and he’s exhausted. There’s softness all around him. There’s warmth. There’s love – for those incredible, simple moments during which he can pretend he doesn’t have to go back to reality, to a world where they’re not together anymore, there’s only love, and he feels fine.

Then Adam slips out of him and collapses on top of him, breathing heavily. He’s tense, aching for closeness, dreading it all the same. Blaine respectfully helps him away from himself, and tucks him in on the other side of the bed. Adam lets him. He doesn’t look at him. Blaine’s grateful for that, because staring at each other would only make it more awkward.

He turns on his side after he’s done. They’re both facing a different wall. Which is what Blaine imagines they’re both doing, generally speaking, at this time in their life. Just facing walls. Away from one another. Apart for those brief times when they stare at the same one.

Blaine would like to speak. To explain. No, not explain. But at least list the facts. Perhaps, together they could turn facts into answers by just linking them logically to one another. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. After all, he must remember that Adam’s not interested in the facts. He knows the facts as well as Blaine does. It’s all the rest that he doesn’t know that confuses him.

And so they’re not going to speak tonight. Blaine just closes his eyes and listens to his own heart as its beat slows down.

Adam doesn’t kick him out.

At last, he can sleep.

 _You got a problem, 2AM I'm in your head_  
L _et's just be honest tonight, yeah_  
 _Only I can solve it_

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for the third week of the Explorers challenge @ landedifandom.net  
> Prompt: [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESkhPXfl4A0) by Tamta and the fact that the main character had to be the same of the story Tabata wrote for the same challenge. So of course it had to be Blaine.


End file.
